Wallflower
Socially awkward Alden steps out of his comfort zone to join his friend's club, finding friendship and a sense of belonging along the way.
Alden hated his name, which he was told meant "a friend to everyone." Nothing could be further from the truth. He usually found himself on the outside of every social circle. It wasn't that he didn't want friends. He didn't try to purposely separate himself from others - at least, he didn't think he did. It just always seemed to end up that way.
"Hey Alden, come join us at the party!" One classmate would say.
"Alden, join our club," another offered.
But he didn't know how to insert himself into the group whenever he arrived at these gatherings. It always seemed like the social order had already been set, and he wasn't a part of it. Alden would enter the room and sit at the back, careful not to make any noise for fear of disturbing the already hopping party or the deeply engaged conversation of the club meeting. He made himself small. He made himself invisible.
Later, his classmate would ask, "Hey, I didn't see you at the party. Did something come up?"
"No. No, I was there. It was great! I'm sorry I missed you." Alden's smile and cheerfulness were fake.
I was there. You didn't see me. You never came up to me or introduced me to your friends.
What Alden wasn't willing to admit was that he was afraid. He was scared of being rejected, so he never initiated a relationship by saying the first word or offering a handshake. He never introduced himself, thinking that letting others make the first move was better. And by doing so, he perpetuated his loneliness.
At the end of the day, he would return to his room and don his VR helmet. Alden had convinced himself that real people took no interest in him and that he could only be liked by his virtual friends.
Tonight's VR session began like all the others. The helmet's interior was dark, and then a thin line of light would blossom before his eyes into a realm of his imagination. He saw rolling hills and tall grasses blowing in the wind. In the distance, he could see the forest, whose trees were as tall as skyscrapers. The trunks of the trees were dotted with wicker basket-like homes, wooden stairways, and rope bridges. He looked down at his arms and saw the thin covering of fur and the porcupine-like bristles that started just behind his wrists.
About fifty yards before him, a group of young porcupine people were foraging for berries around a large bush containing the most delicious-looking purple berries.
I need to think of a better name for these people than 'porcupine-people,' Alden thought.
"Hello!" He called out to them, waving.
"Hello, friend!" Oliana called back. "Join us as we gather berries, and you can ride back to the village with us on our new winged contraption."
Isaak and Tavis stood apart from the group, holding long spears. They were clearly standing guard. They barely looked at him but kept surveying the grassland behind him, obviously wary of some unseen danger.
As Alden approached, he could see their "winged contraption" sitting in a clearing not far from the large berry-laden bushes. The craft was an intricately woven machine made of what appeared to be no more than sticks and leaves. Its wings were covered with translucent paper. The vessel was moored to the ground in several spots, and it was good that it was because it looked light enough to be easily blown away by the wind.
"Welcome back, Alden!" said Oliana as he drew near her. "It's so good to see you again."
"I'm happy to see you too, Oliana," Alden said. To himself, Alden wondered, Why is it so easy to talk to Oliana? Whenever I'm with her, I don't feel any of the anxiety and fear I usually do when interacting with others. What is it about her that makes me feel differently? Is it because Oliana isn't real? She can't reject me because she's just a computer game following her programming. Is that it?
He stood there watching his virtual friends gather baskets of berries when he had a sort of epiphany. It's because when I'm here, I take charge of my destiny. I accept that I am responsible for my actions and that nothing gets done without me having initiated things on my own. If only I could do the same in real life.
"System, pause program," said Alden, and the scene around him froze. He removed the helmet from his head and held it in his lap. The glow of several computer monitors was all that illuminated the real world around him.
Alden ran both hands through his hair and let out a sigh. "System, call Naamah Katz."
Calling Naamah Katz.
"Hi, Alden! I was just thinking about you." Naamah had always been kind to Alden. On several occasions, she had expressed an interest in participating in extracurriculars with Alden, and it seemed like he had always found a reason to decline politely. It wasn't that he didn't like her or didn't want to be around her. Quite the opposite. He'd been crushing on her for a while now, and he was afraid that if she got to know him, she wouldn't like him. He knew the time he spent in front of a computer could be off-putting. He knew that sometimes he got so wrapped up in creating his virtual worlds that he could forget his basic needs like eating or hygiene.
"I... I was wondering if your club was still meeting tomorrow after class." It was a shaky start, but he made sure to finish confidently.
"We are! We'll have a short meeting at 4:15 to discuss our goals for this week, and then it's heads-down as we work through coding needed to get our arm functioning," Naamah said with barely contained enthusiasm about her project.
Naamah's club was working on a robotic arm with a human-machine interface. They hoped to have several patents on the design of the arm and the code needed to translate neural signals into motor functions. There wasn't much she could share with him until he signed their non-disclosure agreement, but the little bit that she had shared hinted that they might be on the verge of a breakthrough in the field of Human-Computer Interaction. Her team of engineers had already won numerous awards in the field of robotics, and they had grand visions of bringing their technology to the field of prosthetics. The arm they were working on now would look nearly indistinguishable from a real human arm, but they needed help training it to respond to neural activity.
"Alden, your work with brain-computer interfaces would be a real asset to our project, but more than that, I think it would be great to have you on our team," said Naamah sincerely.
"I admit, I'm not great at working with a team," he confessed.
"Well, you can't stay cooped up in your room wearing that headset forever! It would make me really happy if you would work with us. Can I count on seeing you tomorrow afternoon?" Her voice was still kind and had a playfulness to it, but he could tell she wasn't just saying this - she really wanted him to be there.
"Let me think about... No. You can count on me. I'll be there." As their conversation ended and the call was terminated, Alden couldn't help but feel like he was turning a corner. The fear was still there, but he felt reassured knowing that Naamah wanted to include him in her work. Then, a strange thought crept into his mind: he looked forward to seeing her. He wanted to get to know her better. He knew about her scientific and engineering accomplishments, but he wanted to know her - as a person. As a friend.
Alden smiled and placed the VR helmet back on his head. He knew he had a lot of work to do to overcome his fears and to reduce his social awkwardness, but he was tired of playing the victim.
Tomorrow, he would embark on a new adventure. He wouldn't let fear keep him isolated in his apartment. He would become part of something that mattered. And most importantly, he would start this journey with a friend.
I was inspired by this image that I found on Tumblr.
Nerd Stuff:
Very good story! Unfortunately I relate to it more than I care to admit, as I am very much the same at gatherings. As usual, my imagination runs wild as I'm listening and coming up with numerous ways to add to the story, but that's half the fun of listening! Well done and mission accomplished.